Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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