She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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