is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
