It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
