I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
