I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dick has a subreddit
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
