i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
