You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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