Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
