Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
