So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
