At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
