Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
