yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
