i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize