Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
