If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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