After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
