we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
