i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
