Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
