Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
