Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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