She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Non-Jews are for practice
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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