I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
