yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
