I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She announced her abortion via fbk
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
