i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
