There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
