Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
