I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Randomize
