Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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