Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
