Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Mom said you looked used
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
