I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
