She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
