I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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