Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
