You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize