You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
