Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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