They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
