So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
