Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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