Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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