It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i now understand why vodka
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
