singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
