I wannas sexs uuuuu
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No subtext here. People are naked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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