Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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