Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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