Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
