They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
