And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
