The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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