conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
