I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
