Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
