peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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