Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize