It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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