Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just found puke in my bra..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
