Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize