I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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